Are you being pressured to send nudes?

Keep It Real Online - Pressure to send nudes

Here is some advice about what you can do to stop it:

  • Ask the person to stop: no one should pressure you to do something you don’t want to do.
  • Report or block: if the person doesn’t change their behaviour or stop, take a screenshot of the messages and copy the link. You can block their phone number, or report their social media account (see How to report).
  • Get support: Talk to an adult you trust. There are also organisations in New Zealand that can provide support and counselling.
  • Check out ICON(external link): they have heaps of advice about nudes based on specific situations and real stories from other young people about their experience sending / receiving nudes.

I already sent someone a nude - what should I do?

If you've already sent someone a nude, the first thing you can do is ask for them to delete it. Hopefully they will do it straight away, but if they don't:

  • Talk to someone you trust about what is happening. Sharing the problem can make it easier to deal with and help you to stay in control.
  • Don’t reply to threats: don’t reply to someone trying to threaten you or blackmail you, don’t send more pictures or videos – it can be scary, but it can help you to keep in control
  • Report what's happening: if the person is sharing your photo with others or trying to blackmail you it's actually against the law. Netsafe has more information about this on their website: Harmful Digital Communication Act(external link).
  • It’s ok to feel bad or hurt: there are no right or wrong feelings to have. There are lots of organisations that can help if you're finding it difficult to cope.

Has someone sent you an unwanted nude?

Keep It Real Online - unwanted nudes

Sending nude images to someone that didn't ask for it is never OK.

  • If someone has sent you an unwanted nude image or video of themselves that you didn’t ask for, talk to someone you trust and remember you can report the content or block it.
  • It someone has sent you a nude image or video of someone else that was shared without that person’s permission or consent, it can be more difficult to work out what to do. Netsafe have some great advice about what you can do to help: If you've been sent a non-consensual nude(external link).

Why is sending nudes such a big deal?

Keep It Real Online - sharing someone else's nudes

If you send a nude to another person, he/she/they can copy that photo or video and share it with others.

Some people will share it with other friends as a ‘joke’ or because they are looking to blackmail you into sending more pictures. You can get help if this happens to you because it is actually against the law (for more info. Harmful Digital Communication Act(external link)).

If multiple nudes get sent to a person that doesn’t want to receive them(external link) and which they haven’t agreed to, then this could be considered harassment, which is illegal.

If you’re over the age of 16 it is illegal to send an unwanted nude to a minor (or expose them to any other sexual content).

Still not sure? Netsafe has more information: What is image-based abuse?(external link)

Are you being a Nick?

A Nick is that friend in the group chat that always takes things a little too far for the lols.

If someone you know is acting like a Nick, or you're worried you might be a bit of a Nick sometimes, Netsafe have some helpful tips - Don’t be a Dick Nick(external link).

I need help or support

Netsafe(external link) are experts in keeping young people safe online and provides free help seven days a week. Free call them on 0508 638 723, email help@netsafe.org.nz or text 4282.

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